Appreciating Grief: a Paradox of Growth
For many of us, grief can be defined as the lament of a loss. We can often drown in our sorrow, and dwell on the way our life could have been. But there is another type of grief as well. The grief that is seeded in what we hoped for, but never could have. Grief is a constant in humanity, and I am certain that you are not alone in your suffering. It has some peculiar kind of cleansing property though. As unfortunate of a feeling to suffer from, grief is perhaps one of the best “soul-cleansers” out there. Grief has a way of telling you what truly matters to you. It’s ok to feel sorrow. It’s ok to feel hopeless and embrace grief for a moment.
To me, I’ve felt that grief and sorrow is not the absence of joy, but rather the second half of a full cup. If you were to abandon grief, and push it down, your joy would become futile. If you forced every moment to be “good”, it would all eventually become meaningless; and when there is an experience so deeply painful that you are not able to force your grief away, your soul would tear apart like a wet paper towel.
If you approach every moment – good or bad – with both sorrow and joy in your heart, your life can become richer, because the moments won’t feel wasted. If you grasp onto sorrow, even in the best of times, you will remember that happiness comes and goes as she pleases, and suddenly, your joyful experiences become golden. You will be able to savor the good. And if you can hold onto your joy even in times of grief, knowing that grief is just as frequent as happiness, those moments won’t feel so hopeless.
You’ll be able to appreciate seasons of grief as a time of growth, kind of like putting on a new pair of shoes. The soles will have new treads, and when the harder times come, you’ll be able to plant your feet, and stand firm as the winds increase.
Today, look for a way to see every moment in light of grief, and appreciate the good for every moment that it is worth.
"Occasionally, weep deeply over the life that you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Feel the pain. Then wash your face, trust God, and embrace the life that he's given you,"
- John Piper