Communication: Are You Just Talking, or Are You Being Heard?

How often have you attempted to communicate, only to feel as though you're speaking to a wall? This common frustration was evident recently when I overheard a couple's conversation filled with misunderstandings and pleas of "That's not what I am saying" and "You're not listening to me."

This encounter made me reflect: How frequently do I speak without being heard? And how often am I the one not truly listening?

Years ago, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" by Steven Covey introduced me to a transformative idea: Listen to understand, not merely to respond. Often, during conversations, we find ourselves crafting our next response rather than absorbing the true meaning of what’s being discussed. True communication occurs when both parties understand the intent behind the words, not just the words themselves.

A productive dialogue isn’t about winning an argument; it’s about comprehending another's perspective. In today’s divisive climate, adopting Covey’s principle to first seek to understand and then to be understood could reduce much of the hostility that divides us.

Challenge yourself to truly listen when you are engaged in a conversation. Clarify what the person is saying and then respond. See how much of a difference that makes in your relationships.