Practicing Self-Compassion: A Work in Progress

Practicing Self-Compassion: A Work in Progress

I wanted to write about self-compassion, but it’s proving more difficult than I thought. Part of the challenge is that I personally struggle with being compassionate toward myself. I hold myself to a high standard, and when I fall short, I find it hard to give myself the grace I so easily extend to my friends. Why is that? Why do I find it easier to forgive others but not myself? No one is perfect—I’ve tried! So why do we beat ourselves up when we inevitably fall?

For me, one reason I struggle with self-compassion is the fear of using it as an excuse. Take working out, for example. I go to the gym every morning, and I used to worry that giving myself grace could lead to laziness. But I’ve had to learn that there are times when my body genuinely needs rest more than another workout. Self-compassion isn’t about making excuses; it’s about recognizing when rest is necessary and when pushing forward is best.

So, how do we find that balance? How can we be kind to ourselves without losing the drive to be better?

Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading expert on self-compassion, has developed a quiz that measures how compassionate you are toward yourself. I encourage you to take the quiz and see where you stand. The quiz is 26 questions, and won’t take long to complete. I took it several years ago and scored lower than I expected. I plan to take it again soon and will share my results.

Here’s the link to the self-compassion quiz: https://self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/

Let me know how you do—I’d love to hear your thoughts!